Counseling is a very broad term. Most people generally think of psychology and psychotherapy as the realm of relationship counseling. They don’t realize the focus of psychology is on disease of the mind and testing for those diseases. It is my understanding that actual family counseling is hardly covered in the general education of a future psychologist. It is very similar to nutrition in the educational process of a physician. Doctors of medicine focus on symptoms and treatment rather than preventive medicine which include nutrition and exercise.
From my point of view it is rather unfortunate that psychologists are viewed by most people as being at the same educational and intelligence level as a Doctor of Medicine. Before you actually choose a relationship counselor out of the many you’ll find in a phone book, arm yourself with good questions to ask.
- Ask what specific courses and certifications they have taken that prepared them to help you and your significant other.
- Ask them to define a healthy relationship so you know what they view s success with in relationships.
- Ask them if they are able to define a path to success along with milestones.
- Ask them how you will know if you are progressing correctly towards the goals of a healthy and happy relationship.
- Ask them if they have ever recommended divorce to their clients and why.
- Ask them what they consider practical grounds for a divorce.
By asking me above questions you are establishing the correct relationship you should have with any counselor. They are there to serve you in exchange for your hard-earned money. They must earn your respect by accomplishing what you hire them to do. Don’t confuse psychotherapy with relationship counseling and don’t let any family counselor confuse you either.
So what happens when you go for relationship counseling? There ought to be a tremendous distinction in your mind based on whether you are married or not, and whether or not you have children. If you are neither married nor have children the option of separation should always be considered if you find that you are incompatible. A good relationship counselor can help you determine that, whether they are psychologists or not. If you are already married without any children and are struggling it is very important for you to learn and understand what marriage is and how to communicate with in your marriage. There are many things to consider and to look at before divorce is discussed. Learning to get to know yourself first before you move on taking the old patterns with you is very important. When children are involved it is very important to look at all aspects of the situation. No matter what, healthy loving respectful relationships are the first and foremost goal. Whether that means staying together or getting divorced, healthy life choices with honesty, respect and unconditional love are the foundation to work from.